Abbreviated Signoffs

These days it's quite common for messages on social-oriented bulletin
boards to end with signoffs like "Hi and hugs to everybody."  In fact,
this has become so popular that as much as 7.5% of the disk space on
some BBS's is currently devoted to this particular comment.  The
International Committee for Relatively Pointless Abbreviations and
Badly Misspelled Acronyms (SPUDS) has just released a new,
internationally approved list of abbreviated signoffs.  These include:

ooo                         hugs
xxx                          kisses
OOO                        big hugs
XXX                         big kisses
oo                            hugs for everybody but you
OO!                          big, excited hugs
CCC                         hugs for people you can't quite reach around
OOQ                        hugging with tongue
xx@                         kisses and earlobe nibbling
zzz                          snoring
yyy                          anything that occurs between kissing and snoring
H                             handshake
kkk                          alternate form of "handshakes for all"
KKK                         white robes for all
AAA                        talk-show not-really kissing
[X]                            kissing in the closet
XYZZY                     a kiss that moves you
MMM                       same as WWW, but from inversion boots
LLL                          armwrestles for all
OOO~~~                   big hugs and large caterpillars for all
)))                              smiles for all
TTT                           trees for all
jjj                              gooses for all
JJJ                           big gooses for all
OOOXXXYYYZZZ     this is illegal before marriage in nine states
OOOXXXyZZZZZ     still illegal, but generally not nearly as well
received


Remember, there is much more work to be done to codify and abbreviate
excessively clear and understandable sign-off messages and replace them
with efficient and incomprehensible international symbols.  Please
contribute money, suggestions, and chocolate to this worthy cause, and
help make conversation boards a better place for assembly-language
programmers.

Thank you,

Trygve Lode,

General Secretary (SPUDS)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Unnatural Enquirer, (C) 1990 by Trygve Lode (tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu)
May be reproduced and distributed freely in unmodified form on a
noncommercial basis provided this notice remains intact.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Reprinted with permission