HOW DOES THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

 
  NT Chicken
  Will cross the road in June; no, in August.  September for sure.

  OS/2 Chicken
  It tried to cross the road several times, and finally gave up.

  Win 95 Chicken
  You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and
  it still tastes like ... chicken.

  Microsoft Chicken (TM)
  It's already on both sides of the road.  And it just bought the
  road.

  Unix Chicken
  There's no real reason to cross the road.  Just make a symbolic
  link to the chicken anywhere you want it to be.

  OOP Chicken
  It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

  Assembler Chicken
  First it builds the road ...

  C Chicken
  It crosses the road without looking both ways.

  C++ Chicken
  The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to
  him on the other side.

  VB Chicken
  USHighways!TheRoad cross (aChicken)

  Delphi Chicken
  The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other
  side.

  Java Chicken
  If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will
  download a chicklet to the other side.

  Web Chicken
  Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

  Gopher Chicken
  Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

  Newton Chicken
  Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it
  across the road in your pocket.

  Cray Chicken
  Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in
  liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

  Quantum Logic Chicken
  The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the
  road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

  Lotus Chicken
  Don't you dare try to cross the road the same way we do!

  Mac Chicken
  No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road,
  so there's no way to tell it to.

  Al Gore Chicken
  Waiting for completion of NCCI (National Chicken-Crossing
  Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as its finished, assuming
  he's re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the program.

  COBOL Chicken
     0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
     IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
     PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
     VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY I UNTIL
     ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
     ELSE
     GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING