Noah

And the Lord said unto Noah, where is the Ark which I commanded thee to
build ?

And Noah said, verily, I have three carpenters off ill. The gopher wood
supplier hath let me down, yea, even though the wood hath been on order for nigh
upon twelve months. The dampcourse specialist hath not turned up. What can I
do, O Lord ?

God said unto Noah, I want that Ark finished after seven days and seven
nights;  and Noah said, it will be so.

And it was not so.

Noah rent his garments and said, mine sub-contractor hath gone bankrupt.
The pitch which Thou hast commanded me to put on the outside of the Ark hath
not arrived. The glazier hath departed on holiday to Majorca. Shem, my son,
who helpeth me with the Ark side of the business, hath formed a pop group
with his brothers, Ham and Japheth. The gopher wood is definitely in the
warehouse and the supplier waiteth only upon his servant to find the invoices before
he delivereth the gopher wood to us.

And the Lord grew angry and said, where are the animals, two of every
sort ?  Where, for example, are the giraffes ?

And Noah said, they are expected today.

And the Lord said unto Noah, where are the unicorns ?

And Noah wrung his hands and wept, saying, Lord they are a discontinued
line.  Thou canst not get unicorns for love nor money.

And God said, where are the monkeys, and the bears, and the hippopotami
and the elephants - two of each kind, and of fowls of the air by sevens ?

And Noah said, they have been delivered to the wrong address and should
arrive by Friday - all save the fowls of the air which are sold only in half
dozens.  Lord, Thou knowest what it is with delivery dates.

And the Lord in His wisdom said, Noah my son, I know; why else dost thou
think I have caused a flood to descend upon the earth ?