If restaurants functioned like Microsoft...
 
 Patron: Waiter!
 
 Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I'll be your Support Waiter.  What seems
         to be the problem?
 
 Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
 
 Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
 
 Patron: No, it's still there..
 
 Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a
         fork instead.
 
 Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
 
 Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl
         are you using?
 
 Patron: A SOUP bowl!
 
 Waiter: Hmmm, that should work.  Maybe it's a configuration problem; how
         was the bowl set up?
 
 Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the
         fly in my soup?
 
 Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly
         in your soup?
 
 Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
 
 Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
 
 Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
 
 Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
 
 Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
 
 Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
 
 Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check.  I'm running late
         now.
 
 [Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.]
 
 Waiter: Here you are, Sir.  The soup and your check.
 
 Patron: This is potato soup.
 
 Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
 
 Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now,  I'll eat anything.
 
 [Waiter leaves.]
 
 Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
 
                              ----------
 
         The check said:
 
         Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . .$ 5.00
 
         Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . .$ 2.50
 
         Access to support . . . . . . . . . .$10.00
 
         Bug in the soup included at no extra charge
         (will be fixed with tomorrow's soup of the day).